Oh my goodness on Feb 16th my friend Lon and I went to secret cinemas Shawshank Redemption, and it was the coolest thing ever!
Anyone who has seen Shawshank knows its an ace film, a bit grimy in places but full of camaraderie and friendship along the way. The experience totally lived up to the film.
After ordering the tickets online, we received and email giving us our new identity. I was Jonathan Hensley, Therapist from Bethanna and Lon was Hollis Garroway, Nurse from Humboldt. They specified our attire (suit up!), time and place of our court hearing.
So we headed to Bethnal Green library for 4.30pm, which luckily wasn’t to hard to find (loadsa people in suits heading in one direction!) armed with our ‘papers’ ready to meet our Lawyer.
After loosing our case (myself for battery and Lon for perverting the course of justice) we were marched onto a blacked out bus one behind the other (the humour was really good, quite PI, one bald guy got referred to as a bollard :). The officer told us what to expect (a bigger bum hole apparently) and the constant offer of whisky was on the table.
Upon arrival at the prison (I’m pretty sure it was an old school) we were herded into the gym , where we stripped down to our tighty whiteys and had to bundle our effects into a bag. We were told basically anything you wanted to keep, stuff in your pants. Sorry did I say told? I meant shouted at and ordered! At this point I had to make the tough decision between a double decker and my phone. The double decker won and took pride of place in my thankfully roomy primark bra! One girl was less fortunate, as when we were ordered to ‘put our hands on our head!’ a stashed bottle of Jager fell out of her bra. Lets just say she got a good bollocking 🙂
This is where the acting started to really get good. I was pretty stubborn when told not to look at people, which resulted in being thoroughly yelled at by a prison officer and I think seduced by an inmate (I was renamed ‘hot sauce’ because he like to spread it all over stuff…..) who wiped his fingers across my face and informed me that’s what it would smell like on the inside. It sounds weird but it was all hilarious, if you played along they interacted more with you.
So we were traipsed outside (yes in our undies) to our cells. Our inmate helped me tie my trousers in return for…….giving a note to a nurse 🙂 we then headed to the dinner hall where we were offered hot dogs and burgers (after worrying all we’d be getting was beans!) in exchange for the library cards that lon and I hadnt as we had no cash. Doh! That basically was your money in there. Buuuut we were allowed to work for our food by clearing up, plus a shot of vodka each poured into our mouth for our trouble!
Then we were given the run of the prison. There was so much going on, each room had a different activity, or storyline or quest to fulfil (the nurse I delivered the note to gave me a shot of sambuca!). The priests office offered redemption (not so much if you thought Noah’s story was the one of Noah and the Whale, and then promptly stole his prescription glasses….). The warden was very handy with a rope especially when Lon got out her phone, and when I got on his wrong side shoved me under a table and had to bark like a dog! One charming inmate asked me to type him a love letter, and while on a search for water one inmate (I’m not sure if he was acting or not) lead us up and down the stairs for about 15 mins looking decidedly lost before deciding where to go!
After a couple of hours (seemed like 5 mins!) a guy got shot outside, and we were all herded into a room where riots broke out and singing began. I unfortunately was not granted parole (probably due to the defiant staring and kleptomatic tendencies) and neither was Lon. But regardless we headed back to the gym hands on head to see the film (oh and the wardens shoe fell out of my jacket while walking, which took a bit of explaining….)
Sadly my chocolate bar didnt make it (would have been drinking it through a straw) However the film itself is great on its own (I thought it may be a bit long after all that but it wasn’t it just added to the experience!), but secret cinema just takes movies to a new interactive high. Literally the best evening ever. The actors kept in character and ‘hoped never to see us back in here again’ as our belongings were returned (really quickly!) and we re dressed (I found my love letter guy!)
As Lon and I headed home from somewhere that we had no idea of the location (they actually were really helpful for tube finding) on a surprisingly warm February evening, we realised we were thoroughly hooked 🙂
Casablanca here we come…………..
Gollum Crack Corn 